Ah, so you decided to read the Guide after all! Well then, allow me to introduce myself and the book! My name is Crushafo. Some know me as Becca, Rebecca, or Rebia, or Beccish. Some wise people might refer me as the "Intellectually Challenged One", but I think that is a little extreme, not to mention rude. So don't call me that, please.

I have seen several guides to taking over the world. Some of them were quite good, others . . . Bad. Awful. Simply horrific. So I decided to write this one. Of course, I had some help from my partners (who are all evil incarnates that currently live within my head because we all know that my head is the last place Those Who Fight Evil will look), but I did the majority of the work. And now on with the introduction of this guide.

Have you ever been sick and tired of how the world is, and wanted to change it? Have you ever had the desire to be evil? Did you ever want to take up the work of villaindom and become the most powerful person the universe has ever seen? Are you a born tyrant but the competition in all the other communist countries too fierce for your taste? Or do you just like ordering people about and being worshipped and feared?

If you said yes to any (or all) of these questions, then this is the book for you, my friend! This is what you need to read if you want to take over the world, or just learn how to be plain obnoxious!

But how in the world do I know what I am talking about? Do I qualify to teach people how to be evil bastards? Well, I am insane as an animal activist taking on a Convention for Big Game Hunters (bring your weapons for show!) with a fork, and we all know that only the absurdly insane people become evil dictators. I have a lot of experience with being insane. Am I evil? Well, I already mentioned how I've got evil incarnate beings living in my head. That is close enough.

Are you ready to learn how to be bad! Good! I mean . . . Er . . . Yes!

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